SEPARATION ANXIETY

BY: JEFF S TURNBULL

The reason that so many of us are anxious about our lives’ and the future is that we are living in a culture where tribalism and nationalism are becoming the norm.

Instead of fostering a sense of community and fidelity we are secluding ourselves into our own tribal enclaves – mentally, socially, and emotionally. The distrust of the other is saluted and encouraged. When what the World needs now is Love Sweet Love; we are pushing each other further and further apart.

Our politics have become a reality show. Our news is entertainment. Our healthcare, education and prison systems have become revenue sources for the rich and powerful; yet the least of us have nowhere to turn.

It is no wonder that dystopian and apocalyptic futures are the basis for a lot of the movies on the big screen. Because the youth of today more so than any other time feels like perhaps there is no hope.

Symbols are powerful and speak volumes. When Nazi and Confederate flags are waived to insight condemnation from a group of people we have a problem. When rainbow flags are flown to celebrate a group's freedom some are outraged. The difference is one is representative of hate and other is love and acceptance. One pushes away and the other encourages inclusion.

The shadow is a person’s inner battle to wage. However, we are a collective of individuals. Just like infinity is a chain of finite moments, the community is comprised of a group of individual souls seeking unity. The collective, universal soul and shadow represent each one of us.

If you hate someone or a group of someone’s’ asks yourself why. Perhaps there is something about what you hate is a subconscious, unconscious issue that you have yet to deal with?

Fragmentation leads to chaos, and not the good kind. It just creates uncertainty and dysfunction. Nothing works and we do not move forward; as a species, an organization, or as an individual. What we do not understand we fear. What we fear we hate. We create suffering for ourselves and everyone. What we understand we value. What we value we hold dear.

Take time and do some self-discovery. Open your mind, your heart, your lives, even your homes and invite something new in and try to understand it, it could change your life, your community, the world.

THE BEAUTY OF UNCERTAINTY

Relationships end. People are laid off. The future is not written in stone but the Sun is sure to rise tomorrow. If it doesn’t we have bigger problems to worry about.

If we cleave to tomorrow, we will certainly be disappointed. Something little insignificant detail will trip us up, catch and tear our shirt, or perhaps ruin our day if we let it.

People fall out of love, and worse cheat, lie and perform acts of cruelty to the ones they are supposed to love. It could happen to all of us. It probably has in some form or fashion throughout our lives. We are let down and hurt.

Probably too each one of us has had a job not work out, have been fired, or quit because after the honeymoon phase we realized we hate the job we thought we’d love. It happens.

The best we can do is realize that shit happens, deal with it and move on. Learn from it and move on. Grow from it and move on.

The beauty of uncertainty is this – adversity creates opportunity. Chaos will raddle the rafters and cause the foundation to crumble. But, it is within the noise and the commotion that the truth and the magic present itself. Your grandmother dies and everyone mourns and feels the loss and honors her life at the services. Later when you go to clean out her attic, a priceless diamond broach falls from a pile of old papers. From the papers, some old deeds or some old bonds are discovered. Because uncertainty can be beautiful in and of the moment treasure can be found. Fortunes and futures can take form. Because when those items were set aside the future was uncertain and yet even imagined.

When you lose your job or your love and tumult rules the day, keep your eyes open, your mind open, and your heart open to the shards of possibility. Because even though uncertainty is the unknown so are the glimmers of all that could be.  

JEFF S TURNBULL

Double Down - Stay Down.

Once you don't succeed - try something new, or try a new twist on the same approach...

You can keep pushing that square peg into that round hole, but odds are something is going break and splinter. Rethink it. Unthink it. Stop thinking it. Step back and re-access. Do something completely different.

Double down, revisit, keep with the same plan and expect a different outcome and you what they say - yes insanity. Turn it around. Turn it upside down. Re-frame it. Deconstruct and destroy and pick up the pieces and reassemble that puzzle.

But more than anything know when to walk away. Don't stand in the same line after the line next to you opens up. The time you have invested isn't wasted. But know when to pivot.

Stay curious. Keep learning. Know when to burn the ships on the shore and move on. When you keep going back to the same well, you either find it dry or stagnant.

Wouldn't you prefer to breathe fresh air as opposed to your own exhaust?

JEFF S TURNBULL

 

WHAT’S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN?

Your car could break down in the middle of nowhere and you must walk 12 miles in the middle of the night to get a cell signal. You could misplace your cash deposit on your way to the bank. All your employees could walk out on you on Black Friday. Or, you could be promoted to customer because you made a fatal error on the trends in your market. What then...

Personally, I do not mind failing now and again, or making a mistake. However, if we do not learn from it. The car breaking down that is beyond your control. The other examples could have been mitigated if we can be more mindful of what is within our control; responsibilities, relationships, communication and reason. If we are aware of those things that we have our minds, hearts, and intentions on we all would be better off.

Life happens. What’s the worst that could happen? Well, our health is very important. If we have good health we can have the resilience to be able to rebound and deal with just about anything. If we lose property – things can be replaced. Moreover, if things have sentimental value we still have our memories.

Life is more wrestling than dancing. So, if we get taken down we get back up. Gracefully if we can if not vertical must suffice. If we can put a little muscle in our hustle shake it off and get back in there we will not be deterred.

No one said life, career, parenting would be easy. Success is an expansion of our happiness. If we can put things in the right perspective, reframe and see struggles as an opportunity for growth we move beyond our difficulties and create a life, career, relationship that we have only before just imagined.

JEFF S TURNBULL

A GHOST OF A CHANCE

Why do some people see the rationale of joining forces and working together and others put themselves first at all cost?

Some see the value in the work and the process when some see their stake in the outcome. I just watched Ashton Kutcher break down in front of a congressional hearing speaking about his work against human trafficking. Here is a man who spends his wealth helping victims of modern day sex slavery who works long hours who has an organization solely to do this work. He goes on raids with the FBI and sees things that cannot be unseen because somebody must.

Then we have celebrities who are so self-absorbed who use their wealth to gain high office and act like spoiled five-year old’s. The rich and powerful do themselves and others a disservice when they think only of themselves and the ones close to them and do nothing for anyone else. Of course, they are not obligated to, yet their lack to use what they must to do good work for their fellow man.

We are all familiar with Ebenezer Scrooge and how that turned out. He only truly lived when he saw the benefits to helping his fellow man and the metamorphoses that occurred when he did. We should not have to be haunted by specters of our collective unconscious to make this happen. But, perhaps that is what is needed.

Buddha taught that humankind’s suffering is caused by desire. The desire or the attachment to someone or something or the aversion of someone or something. The desire for a better outcome or conclusion does not create suffering, it creates joy and helps the common good.

Unfortunately, the common good is uncommon for those who think only of their needs which create suffering for everyone. I will never count anyone out, give up that perhaps within them is a seed of our collective humanity. That maybe, just maybe at the right time under the right circumstances that that person be he or she the President of the Unites States or a refugee from a war-torn country climb the summit of our shared purpose to reach down and lift other’s up and into the light of a better and brighter tomorrow.

Jeff S Turnbull  

Look in the Box, Only for a Tool.

Are you using the right tool?  Do you have the right tool?  Do you even know what tool you need?

I just spent fifteen minutes trying to get my wireless mouse to work.  I changed the battery.  I played with the on/off button.  I even shook it…. I could not understand why it would not work.  Everything was turned on and in the right position. 

Well, I took a deeper look at the tool I was using, I noticed that one of the parts was not the part that matched the rest of the machine – my wireless mouse.  I had removed the tiny thumb drive and had switched it out while I was looking for pictures on another thumb drive.  They are similar in appearance with a slight variance.  

Knowing that you are using the right tool for the job, and knowing what the device is capable of is paramount.  How many would have considered the mouse broken and would have ultimately returned it and bitched out a customer service representative, or perhaps just went out and just bought another one?

The mouse obviously is a metaphor for so many other things.  So much time and energy and resources could be saved if we only knew what we had and how to use it. Some people throw out instruction guides and manuals without consulting them and are later amazed that they have spare parts or find out that the darn thing does not work right.  Then they are frustrated when they have to call a helpline and wait for hours to finally talk to a real person.

If we could take a few moments to value what we have in our hands and in our possession to actually understand what it is.  That tool box would be so much smaller and efficient that we could actually find and apply what we have.  Just like you cannot sell a product that’s in the stockroom, or motivate an employee unless you know what and how to leverage and manage then you cannot execute and deliver.

Jeff S Turnbull